


Not Running Anymore

by demonmadej



Category: The Goldfinch (2019), The Goldfinch - Donna Tartt
Genre: Angst, Boys Kissing, Don't copy to another site, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Helpful Boris, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Las Vegas Era, M/M, Making Out, Mild Language, Nightmares, One Shot, Sad theo, Scared Theo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:53:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25434190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonmadej/pseuds/demonmadej
Summary: From the moment Theo lost his mother, he had seen terrible visions of it every night, never the same and yet always changing.
Relationships: Theodore Decker/Boris Pavlikovsky
Kudos: 66





	Not Running Anymore

From the moment Theo lost his mother, he had seen terrible visions of it every night, never the same and yet always changing.

Moving to Vegas didn't help with all the nightmares and memories for the first few months that he stayed with his father and Xandra. If anything it had made it worse. Every night the same hazy feeling was there as he woke up in the dead of night, sweat pouring down his face, hands shaking, eyes wide and alert yet unfocused.

The world kept turning and yet, it felt like it stopped at the same time every night. The time was always the same whenever sleep had managed to pass over him, a ritual which could not be broken despite his every effort. Before he knew it, he had just stopped sleeping altogether.

Distractions were far and few between school, homework, television, repeat. It was all that he could do to prevent himself from going crazy during daylight. That was until Boris had walked right into his life that one day.

"Potter?"

His head shot up from his desk that he had been sleeping on with a start. He looked down at his hands which were shaking before looking over at Boris with wide and confused eyes.

"You alright? A good dream, ah?"

Theo knew that he was joking around but he wasn't having any of it today, he had gone five nights without proper rest. He crossed his arms and laid back down on the desk, leaning forward despite the teacher not being there.

"Oh, fuck off."

"What? I was only asking! Is true, is not? Tell me, Potter, was she hot? Huge tits? Details, Potter, details!"

"I said fuck off. Jeez, leave me alone..."

Boris raised his hands simply, back to his desk as a smirk appeared upon his pale face, small chuckles escaping. Theo didn't care. Dissociation was kicking in and he felt his vision getting blurry. The world around him went from sharp angles to soft edges to which he took off his glasses to make the effect further amplified. Everything faded out and before he knew it, the familiar DING of the end of the school day bell rang loudly in his head. Did he sleep through the entire lesson or did he just zone out that badly? He didn't know and didn't care to find out.

"Let's go already, Potter! I wanna get to your place already! Is so fucking boring in there"

"...Fine."

He cocked an eyebrow, He cocked an eyebrow, shoving him a bit as they walked along from the bus on the way to Theo's home, which became another, then another and another, until the both of them got into a shoving match, laughing and almost falling over.

The moment of tension disappeared as stray punches came after one another, hair was pulled at, the usual roughhousing the both of them were used to getting into. After a while, the two eventually settled down, feeling slightly bruised, and decided to watch some television in the hopes that they would hopefully find something interesting or fun to watch.

"Potter! Woah, stop!"

Boris suddenly jerked up to look at the screen better, making Theo nearly jump out of his skin and nearly causing him to drop the remote, luckily he had a good grip and managed to catch it mid-fall.

"What? What?"

"Go back one!"

"What was so interesting that interested you so fucking much that you had to give me a heart attack?!"

"THAT! THERE!"

Much like a small child trying to show off their favorite toy, he couldn't help but point at the screen as it changed to the previous channel, which showed a beautiful blonde woman modeling which appeared to be a new line of lingerie, only making Theo groan with agony at the sight. The last thing he wanted to see some sort of suggestive material in front of him. Yet the other boy didn't have the same idea as he stared at the screen then back at him with eyes full of wonder.

"She's fucking hot, Potter!"

"Okay? And?"

"And? Are you saying that you wouldn't want to fuck her?"

"No, not really..."

"Ha! Then you are a fool. I have never seen such beauty! Bet, I'll have some nice dreams about her tonight, if you know what I mean. Much like that mystery lady from class earlier, ah?"

Another groan. He wasn't enjoying this conversation whatsoever. He knew Boris was like this whenever beautiful women were around whether it was in real life or on the television. Instead of suffering through all of this, he simply turned himself around on the couch to face the back of it, the world slowly turning black.

The world that greeted him was the same as it always was. The smoke clogging up his lungs became the first sensation he felt as he wandered around the museum aimlessly, dead bodies strewn around with every step he took. All the rooms were the same now, a labyrinth that went on forever and ever. Just as he rounded a corner, he saw the familiar strands of brown locks laying against the ground and rushed over immediately, turning her over to face him before he was blinded by a white light.

"Ah, Potter! Potter! Potter, get up!"

He awoke immediately to find himself laying on the ground somehow, between the couch and coffee table. Theo laid there shaking with tears streaming down his face. His eyes looked around in a panic, noticing that he was laying in Boris's lap, his hand behind his head and gently running his fingers through his hair, the other holding him closely.

"Wh..."

"You okay? I heard you struggling and making these noises while I was watching, and then the next thing I knew, BAM! You were on the ground. I did not know what happened so I woke you..."

"I...I...I had another fucking nightmare."

"Oh, shit....sorry."

"It's fine...It's just the happen every goddamn time I close my eyes, and I can't get any more fucking sleep!"

"Ah, get those all time. Horrible fucking bastards. Asleep one minute and then next? Awake and shaking with no fucking clue what happened. Anyways, Potter, I stay here tonight, let's get ready for bed! I'm fucking exhausted, you?"

Theo simply nodded, sitting up from his comfortable place that was Boris's lap, noticing that he had moved the table out of the way to get to him when he fell. It felt...odd. In a very endearing way that someone would do something like that instead of just ignoring him or leaving him there on the floor just to writhe and move about.

The two stumbled up the stairs, changing their clothes quickly and jumping into the small bed. Boris curled up against Theo as they both drifted off.

The same static sound was in his ears again, loudly thumping and taunting as he felt something touch his shoulder. Whipping around he saw that it was her...her with her beautiful long bright red curls and smile that could light up any room. Relief immediately flooded over him as he reached out to her. Just as his fingertips touched her hand, her image disintegrated right in front of his eyes, leaving behind a large pile of ash upon the floor, a scream escaping him as he rushed away. This wasn't happening! It couldn't be happening! That couldn't be her! It was just an imitation of her! She was around here somewhere waiting. Body and body piled up behind him as he ran, searching for her in the rubble to only be suddenly confronted by her face...twisted with pain and agony and screaming at him to get her out...

He awoke to find himself sitting upwards in his bed, breathing ragged and harsh, sweat dripping down his forehead. This had to be his worst nightmare yet, his whole body shaking and he felt his heart beating faster than normal.

As his eyes closed for a moment, he felt a sudden sensation of warmth surrounding his torso, which he opened his eyes to find that it was just Boris' blurred arms wrapping around him, pulling him back down under the warm sheets and closer to his lanky body, a small and soft noise escaping him which turned out to be a small sob.

"Boris? Hey...Boris. Wake up, man."

No response. Just a couple of more small sobs and light shakes that grew worse every few seconds. It broke his heart to see the one person that he was close to, the one that was always smiling and making stupid jokes was now lying beside him, crying at whatever was bothering him in his mind.

Immediately, he turned himself to face the other better, grabbing him by the shoulders as he forcefully shook him a couple of times.

"Hey, wake up! It' okay! You're just having a nightmare! It isn't real!"

Eventually, Theo grew desperate as the other boy continued to squirm around. Why the hell wasn't he waking up tonight of all the possible nights! Normally the slightest movement that he made would have Boris up in an instant, but not tonight. It was as if reality had sucked him in so far that he believed he was indeed awake when he wasn't. His body finally stopped moving as words spilled from his lips :

"Please...Potter....don't....stop! Please stop! Don't leave me! Come back! POTTER!"

"BORIS!"

Eyes suddenly snapped open, arms flying upwards. The yell had startled him out of his fear and shoved him forcefully back into the real world, one where he was now being held down by arms, breathing heavily as the form of someone small hovered above him, deeply concerned while also deep breathing.

"Boris...oh thank fuck, I thought you would NEVER wake up! Are...you okay?"

"Jesus fucking christ, Potter! That was a...doozy? Is that how you say it?"

"Yeah, doozy. It was that bad, huh?"

Boris nodded in response, looking off to the side at his arms which were still being held down. He tried pulling away, but the arms didn't budge.

"Why are you holding me down?"

"Huh? Oh, shit! Sorry..."

His hands withdrew from the others, placed close to himself once again. He didn't know what he was thinking when he held suddenly held them down, but for some reason, it reassured him that he wouldn't hurt himself on accident.

Faintly, warmth came up to his cheeks as he turned his head away from Boris, hands fidgeting with each other as they sat next to each other in silence, not knowing what to do or say. A minute went by...and then another...after another...slowly flying by with every tick of the alarm clock sitting on the nightstand.

"...Potter?"

"Yeah?"

"Look at me."

With a blink, Theo turned himself slowly to look at the other boy, the flush in his cheeks increasing as he noticed a hand reaching out to presumably hit him or something. It felt like a feather from a bird down from the sky above to gently graze his cheek, instead of the flesh of a living being touching him, and before he could process what was happening, space was closed and a pair of lips were softly pressed against his own.

A kiss. His first of many. It wasn't anything like he expected it to be, chapped and cracked, but delicate and beautiful. The two held their place for what felt like an eternity until they seperated, eyes locked upon one another. Though one couldn't make out the finer details, he couldn't care less, his mind fogged over as he placed a shaky hand against the other's pale cheek, trailing it down to the jawline to the chin, leaning in to plant another kiss, less delicate and more desperate this time.

"Boris..."

The first words breathed out as they broke once more, slowly falling into place back onto the mattress they shared for many nights, held in an unbreakable embrace, the room seemed to fade away from their minds. It was just Boris and Theo, nothing more and nothing less, just the way they wanted it to be.

Another kiss hands lazily exploring around one another's bodies, remembering details, forgetting the panic, before they just focused on each other and each other alone. Boris broke the silence that followed with a slight chuckle and smirk, smiling against Theo's lips.

"Ha, Potter! Is funny, I dreamed that you ran away from me, and I could not catch you and you kept yelling for me to fuck off. Yet, here we are, you are not running."

"Why would I run?"

"I do not know...would you?"

"No...never."

"Me neither."

"It's either, dumbass."

"Oh shut up, smartass."

"Make me!"

"That is a challenge I can easily win!"

Before a fit of laughter could erupt, another kiss came, hands coursing through his short, sandy-colored, straight hair. Theo's small hands lightly traced Boris' sides slowly, causing a shudder to emerge. This caused the boy to flush as he realized what happened. Did this really have to happen tonight? There happened to be school tomorrow and he did not want to be kept up all night...but maybe, just maybe, they could call in sick, have a day off to spend with each other. Lay together, hold one another, and talk for hours as they always did.

A smile spread upon his face briefly before he deepened the kiss, fingers tangling in gorgeous black curls. They held onto each other as they broke away, tension fading away. Tonight was not the night, the fear had been too much for the both of them and rest was required. Tomorrow, they could try again, for Theo knew that they would sleep safe tonight as long as they had each other.


End file.
